Bromosexuales dentro del armario

Escribe el magistrado De Domingo Martínez en La Opinión de Murcia acerca de fútbol y conceptos vertidos, según él, en la radiofonía de la madrugada post-clásico:

…volví a escuchar la radio, y descubrí un nuevo concepto que ignoraba, el de 'bromosexual', que los comentaristas lo aplicaban presuntamente a tres jugadores del Madrid.

Luego “divaga” y concluye que:

Se trata de un subgrupo de los homosexuales. Es un varón abiertamente gay, tomado frecuentemente por heterosexual entre la gente de su entorno. Es decir, aquella persona del sexo masculino que tiene rasgos y comportamiento de heterosexual, y que sin embargo es gay. O lo que es igual, que aún no ha salido del armario. Cosa que me parece muy bien, pues hasta ahí podíamos llegar.

Y aquí es donde hay algo que chirría. Perdone su señoría, pero un varón abiertamente gay ha tenido que, sí o sí, salir del armario. Y no, no es una persona del sexo masculino que tiene “rasgos y comportamiento de heterosexual”. No hay “rasgos y comportamiento de heterosexual”, queridos míos, ni tampoco hay “rasgos y comportamiento de homosexual”. Es decir, más allá del comportamiento sexual que tan queda definido por los prefijos “hetero-“ (diferente) u “homo-“ (igual). El resto son falacias, poses y máscaras. Osos hay (habemos) que disfrutamos sin fin con un buen partido de fútbol en el bar, regado con cerveza (particularmente yo, Estrella de Galicia, y este post no está patrocinado, aviso), y respetables padres de familia que se mueven con más plumas que las que en su día guardó el Baúl de la Piquer. En Chueca.com van a definir la “bromosexualidad” con un “¿Se puede ser abiertamente homosexual y pasar por hetero?”

Y claro que sí, en ese sentido somos muchos “bromosexuales” los que andamos por el mundo, entre otras cosas porque no solemos llevar sombra de ojos arco-iris, ni al salir del armario firmamos un compromiso que nos obligue a ponernos un pin que diga “Soy Gay” en la solapa, ni a anteponer la palabra “homosexual” a nuestro nombre: “Hola, ¿qué tal estás? Encantado de conocerte, me llamo Andrea” “Igualmente, yo soy Juan y soy gay”.

Otro asunto, que personalmente me preocupa mucho más, es el de en qué términos y en qué radio andaban “los comentaristas” hablando de bromosexuales del Madrid. Aunque, sabiendo que el mayor misterio de las retransmisiones deportivas es que el comentarista de televisión casi siempre se limita a describir lo que vemos, mientras que el comentarista de radio anuncia todo lo anunciable y se despreocupa de lo que ocurre en el terreno de juego hasta que suena el “gooooooooooooooooooooooooooolllllllllllllllllllll”… y es que, algún comentarista de según que radio, puede llamarte “cabrón hijoputa” como apelativo cariñoso. Donde no hay modales, qué vas a esperar.

Y sí, suena raro ver así un post en español en el blog este después de tanto tiempo, pero ya avisé hace unas semanas que lo mismo me ponía a hacer lo que me diera la gana un poco. Saludos.

I now pronounce you husband and SUV

We bears (and gays) have been hearing fundamentalist Christians arguing against gay marriage for a while. One of the reasons they usually point out is that "marriage can only take place between a man and a woman" and if we allow other genres to marry, such would lead to a weird what's next, as in "humans marrying their pets" et al.  Another feature of born again Christians, like president George W. Bush, is their abhorrence of alcoholic beverages.

Well, I have eventually found the proof that they are really right in their appreciations. See what a combination of liquor and free marriage can lead to:

Everyday life best argument for gay marriage

A really interesting analysis on the SF Gate by C W Nevius, on how homosexual marriage will become accepted as normal. Here's the full text, which I mostly agree with.

When defenders of the "sacred union of marriage" held a news conference last Tuesday after oral arguments on same-sex marriage at the state Supreme Court, they weren't facing a friendly crowd.

A small group of activists tried to drown out the comments with songs, chants and heckling. I'm sure they thought they were carrying the banner of freedom, standing up for principle and advancing the cause.

They're wrong.

At the end of the day, when the change comes to allow same-sex marriage - and it's coming, don't kid yourself - it won't be because of protests. It will be because people in this state, and across the country, are talking to gay and lesbian co-workers and neighbors, meeting same-sex couples and their kids at Little League games, and working at companies with domestic-partner health plans.

"It is the normal interaction in everyday life," said City Attorney Dennis Herrera, who is leading San Francisco's legal effort along with attorneys for 23 same-sex couples. "It is the guy at the water cooler at work, seeing them with their kids - that's what drives it home for people."

It is that familiarity driving the change in perception. Polls tell us that those born before 1940 are probably a lost cause. But those in their 40s, for example, have seen a dramatic uptick in support for same-sex marriage. And the real sea change is among the teens and twentysomethings who seem to wonder what the fuss is all about.

When our son told us he was gay, he was in high school (he's a junior in college now). I remember hugging him and saying, "Don't worry. It will be fine." What he didn't hear was my inner voice adding, "I hope."

I worried about him having a miserable time at school, harassed by narrow-minded kids and forced to withdraw into a shell. It wasn't without rough moments, of course, but overall, his problems seemed minor.

He played high school sports, was active in school events and ran for student body president. During the election, a Neanderthal jock anonymously posted an incredibly offensive and obscene comment on an Internet site. My wife and daughter saw it and so did much of the student body. Here we go, I thought.

But his friends rallied around him. They took on the jock, identified him and told him to offer an apology. When he did, my son's group quickly accepted it and moved on. He won that election.

Frankly, with a few blips, that's how it has gone. Having a gay son has been a lot less of a big deal than I ever dreamed. And among his fellow students and contemporaries, it seems to be a big shrug.

As Herrera says, the youth mind-set represents an undercurrent of change that is sometimes overlooked.

"If you look at the poll numbers in 2000 for Proposition 22 (reaffirming a 1974 law that said marriage was between a man and a woman) the support was 61 percent," he said. "But those numbers have changed dramatically. And when you look at the younger demographic, it is totally different."

A California Field Poll conducted in March found that those born in the 1970s and '80s support same-sex marriage by 51 and 58 percent, respectively.

The change in values seems to leave the same-sex opponents struggling to find a rational objection to the question posed by one of the justices: "What are the adverse consequences that could occur?"

Randy Thompson, president of the California Coalition for Children and Families, could only offer that banning same-sex marriage would "be a role model for the next generation. What dream do you want children to have, to grow up and marry a nice girl?"

Yep, that's the dream. I suppose many never guessed it would be a girl's dream, too.

The news conferences went on too long for both groups. At the end, a gentleman who represented the group Stand With Children stood at the podium, talking away as TV crews packed up their cameras and microphones.

No one was listening. He was talking to himself - with one exception.

One of the gay and lesbian activists stayed and heckled him. As the crowd dispersed, the two bickered back and forth. It's funny, because while they are arguing, real change is taking place all around them.

Comedy in theaters and Knesset. And the Peanut Butter Jar.

After some weeks of watching mostly drama and thriller movies, I was looking for a good comedy this weekend, just to relax from work, also from the political campaign in Spain (which has good points, for instance, as I'm following Spain's politicians I don't have time anymore to follow the candidates in the USA). The only movie I could find in theatres currently, a decent comedy (and I mean "decent" in the sense of "please don't play me another stupid American teen movie") was, of course, Juno. But this is Party for the Rights and Juno is not a comedy about homosexuality, eh? No problem, there's enough comedy worldwide. Would you believe, dear abominable readers, that YOU cause earthquakes "when putting your genitalia where they're not supposed to be put"? That's exactly the collegiate opinion of Schlomo Benizri, who declared in Israel's Knesset, this week, about the measures to be taken on Israel's readiness on earthquakes.

It must have been funny, a committee of lawmakers having experts stating about measures and all that blah blah, and then this guy comes up and says something like, "if you stop passing legislation on how to encourage homosexual activity in the state of Israel, which anyway brings about earthquakes", that's the best measure to be taken in order to prevent victims on earthquakes, and quakes themselves.

If one thinks carefully about the whole thing, it's obvious that religion, ultra-orthodox religion, is always behind such attacks. Those ultra-religious people, fanatics and fundamentalists, are quite similar to little children who aren't able to catch a good sleep without a good tale before switching the lights off. The problem, and I use "problem" here because they move towards creating a problem for us, the problem then, I say, is only that ultra-religious people do believe that their tale is true. Pastors, bishops and preachers in the USA oppose homosexual marriage saying "It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve". Funny slogan, but it's not Adam and Eve unless you defend Creationism (which is lately labeled as Intelligent Design, as if it was some sort of Italian couch or a masterpiece of Rem Koolhaas). There was no Adam and there was no Eve, there is the Theory of Evolution and that's science. And some people will still go dreaming of Peanut Butter Jars after being read the Bible Fairy Tale before going to sleep.

Social change in Spain

EDGE Los Angeles publishes an interesting article about how Spanish society has evolved since Francisco Franco's death in 1975. Though I might not agree with some of the views of Cotarelo, it's clear that we're living in a much open place than we were under the omnipresent wings of the Roman Catholic Hierarchy. However, back in 2004 when, after March 11th Atocha Train Bombings elections were held in March 14th, it was not "centrist votes" which were crucial for the Socialist party to get into power, but the mobilization of the leftist votes. This section of voters seem to be on a sort of laissez faire when it comes to polls, and mobilize only when some sort of political disaster — as could be, for instance, giving power to a party which would fulfill all the Roman Catholic Hierarchy demands — is foreseen. That is what happened in 2004, and if things go like they are going right now, with bishops interfering in the political campaign, it's quite likely that the progressive, leftist electors will vote en masse again. 

Bollywood stars on homosexuality

According to NewKerala.com, via Topix news, an increasing numbers of Indian movie stars are asserting their own position on changing the laws on homosexuality in India. Statements on the issue by some of the most renowned Bollywood stars are:

Lillete Dubey: Of course, the laws pertaining to homosexuality should be revised. They are archaic and inhuman. An individual's sexual preference is a completely private matter. It falls under the realm of the law when there's a public display of obscene behaviour. Any such conduct must be equally punishable for straight and gay persons. If gay behaviour offends publicly, the law has every right to react. Otherwise, we're the largest democracy and sexual freedom is our democratic right.
Celina Jaitley: My closest friends are gay and I wouldn't let anyone hurt them. The laws need drastic change. Homosexuality has existed since the invention of civilisation. Some of our greatest artistes today are gay. At this time of HIV and AIDS, gay rights should be our primary concern. In Britain, they've gay marriages. So why are we stuck with their obsolete laws? They left the country long back! Also science proves homosexuality is genetic.
Randeep Hooda: I've lots of gay friends, both male and female. As long as they respect my heterosexual space, I've no problems with their sexuality. As far as the gay party on Saturday night is concerned, if the partygoers were disrupting the neighbourhood's peace then they deserve to be pulled up. Alternative sexuality must not be an excuse for extra rights and privileges. If you want to be equal then fight it out in life just like any of us.
Manoj Bajpai: Yes, the law should be revised. All citizens have the right to decide how they live their lives.
Rohit Roy: I'm not very clear about gay rights and laws in India. But I must say this sort of raid gets us thinking about the priorities of the police. Shouldn't they crack down on elements dangerous to society rather than gays who just want to live in peace?
Nandana Sen: Yes, absolutely! The laws need a change. No one has the right to invade a peaceful private gathering. It's against our democratic principles to treat homosexuality as crime.
Tanushree Dutta: Oh my god! This is ridiculous. The laws need desperate change. Or maybe homosexuality is legal and the cops don't know about it?
Imtiaz Ali: Of course, the laws need to be revised. An act that is natural to some cannot be illegal in a free democracy.
Riya Sen: Everyone in a democracy should enjoy the freedom to do what he or she likes. I think it is uncivilised to question anyone's sexuality. Invasion of privacy is a bigger crime than any. Not just homosexuality, we need to open up our minds against all kinds of prejudice if we want to really go global.
Amrita Arora: Gays have just the same rights as straight people. I party with them and I find them sensitive and dependable. Why single them out to ridicule? High time people stop being judgemental about how others live their lives.
Vipul Shah: Yes, laws need revision. Nobody has the right to decide for others. It's every individual's birthright to decide his or her sexual preference. And nobody has the right to interfere. Unless they were behaving obscenely, the gay partygoers shouldn't have been raided.
Shefali Shah: I don't see why there should be laws against individuals based on their sexual preferences. It's a free world. People are entitled to make their own choices as long as their choices don't hurt anyone.
Samir Soni: I don't think the laws should vary according to sexual orientation. What is unlawful should remain so regardless of whether you are gay or straight.
Mahesh Bhatt: The state has no business to step into people's bedrooms and question their sexual preferences. It's a matter between two consenting adults.
Neil Nitin Mukesh: It's a sensitive subject that needs careful consideration.

Which reminds me to the fact that, in Spain, we lived our sexuality half in the closet and half openly, but it was only when Boris Izaguirre came out on full display of his queerness in Cronicas Marcianas, a late show which was followed by quite a number of Spaniards, when homosexuality happened to start to be viewed as something between curious and appealing... and that was the beginning of the so many changes we have witnessed in these last ten years.

Gay memorial in Berlin

Because not only Jews were murdered in the Holocaust, gays too, this piece of news is most welcomed:

A multi-media memorial to the thousands of gay men who died in Nazi concentration camps should be ready in a matter of months.

Read the full article in Pink News.

The art of provocation

Times Online brings forth again a freedom of expression limits in the Netherlands. An Iranian artist has seemingly "photographed gay men wearing masks of the prophet Muhammad" and was "forced into hiding and her work removed from a museum exhibit." The journal says: "Speaking on the telephone from an unspecified location in the Netherlands last week, the artist, an Iranian exile who goes by the pseudonym of Sooreh Hera, said she had been threatened with “execution”. She accused the director of the municipal museum in The Hague of cowardice for caving in to Muslim extremists."

My opinion here is two-faceted. First of all, it looks exactly like any other art case involved with religion, no matter which religion: artists that, it appears to me, want to gain hype and recognition just by messing with, be it evangelicals, ultracatholics, islamists, or whatever other fundie religious group. That sort of publicity is free, and though we have in many cases advocated freedom of expression, I should say that, for all those cases and artists, it's a funny thing that you first go and choose your "art" subject then claim that you didn't intend to hurt no religious feeling. Of course you intended, Mr. and Mrs. Artist, and that's precisely where your possibilities of making the headline in The Times, the New York Times or whatever other respectable newspaper are. But you don't want to face the consequences of your action, huh?

Now in this case, there's a second lecture for us Muslims: just because someone claims that some given mask is that of Prophet Muhammad are we going to believe it? Where in the world is there any painting, drawing, or whatever, that accurately depicts which factions and appearance Prophet Muhammad had? Nowhere, right? So when any of these 15-minutes-of-fame-seekers claims that "the mask is that of the prophet Muhammad" how do they know? Because they had a revelation in a dream? Come on, brothers and sisters, if any of you is reading this: that's just provocation, and we'd better not respond to such gross intents. As for the "gay men" part, I didn't know till today that in the Netherlands, there was some sort of certificate that shows one's gay.

I could as well take a picture of someone wearing a mask of Daffy Duck and write over the photograph: "This is a gay man and the mask depicts prophet Elijah". And gain my 15 minutes of shame.

Technorati tags: Art of provocation, Netherlands, Wannabe artists

Manifesto pro Family Diversity

Following the recent events in Spain, with the Catholic hierarchy mourning their times of power under the Franco dictatorship, a number of people launched a web/blog under the name Internautas por la Diversidad Familiar, whose manifesto aims, in brief, at promoting equality among all the different family models that coexist in our 21st century societies: monoparental, homoparental and heteroparental, not excluding or promoting any of those over the other, however rejecting the discriminating and excluding attitudes coming from the Catholic hierarchy (and we understand here, that, on extension, from any other excluding attitudes).

It's with joy that Party for the Rights joined the campaign and manifesto, and we will encourage from these pages to all Spain and Spanish speaking readers to go check the site, spread the word, and become more active against any bigotry.

Technorati tags: Family diversity, Blogs, Equality

Mary J Blige, thank you very much indeed

Informs The Post Chronicle that "Mary J. Blige fires assistants who make homophobic remarks because she insists they can't be counted upon. The R&B diva is a fervent gay rights activist and refuses to tolerate people who have issues with homosexuality."

Well, thank you very much indeed, Mary. I knew you wouldn't let me down.

Technorati tags: Mary J Blige, Homophobia, Anti-Homophobia, Heroes

 

Maybe a positive output from Larry Craig affaire

According to Gay City News, Craig told KTVB-TV that he "would take a very serious look" at legislation to protect people from police entrapment in restrooms and other public places. We have read a lot of words and articles about Craig's hypocrisy for not coming out, for supporting homophobic laws and actions, and all the hype, but I personally think that if the output of the whole case leads to some point closer to give people an enhanced chance to eye for sex in public places, that'll be good; whether they be homosexual or not, whether they be in the closet or completely out, an adult should not be put into traps for seeking sex. If you don't want sex with other adult, homosexual or heterosexual, simply say "no". That's all. Maybe the USA need some better sexual education. Just my two cents.

Technorati tags: Larry Craig, Sex liberation, sexual freedom, ban entrapment

Kudos to Waymon Hudson

Waymon Hudson writes a moving text in The Bilerico Project, under the heading The Everyday "Don't Ask Don't Tell". Recommended reading for the weekend: we can all learn a lot from it. If only we could start putting his suggestion to work, at least those of us who are out... Some excerpts.

People often ask, “How can I make a difference?” At times when you feel like you are just one small person in a society that seems to be committed to denying LGBT citizens their full rights and equality, it often seems easier to sit back, live your life, and not get involved. It is easy to feel like you have no role to play in the LGBT rights movement, to feel like your life isn’t making an impact. But you are wrong. You can make a huge impact on society and the fight for equality by simply living your life, openly and honestly. You can do this by making sure you aren’t living what I have come to think of as the everyday “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy.

So what is this “everyday” policy, you may ask? It’s how so many of us live our lives. We go quietly about our business, many times facing struggles and roadblocks because of who we are as LGBT people. We do this everyday and never tell anyone about it. We don’t let our friends or families who are straight know about the discrimination or legal barriers we face just for being who we are. They don’t ask and we don’t tell.

By telling those that love us that we need them, by including them in our successes and our struggles, we can start to change how society views the LGBT community. Start telling those around you about your life. Tell them what you are going through and dealing with. Soon they will be asking what they can do to help. You can start to change society, one person at a time. You can have a huge impact on LGBT rights just by being honest with those around you. By ending this “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy in our own personal lives, we can truly make a change that will improve the world. They will ask if we will only tell.

Technorati tags: LGBT, USA, Bilerico Project

How I was on the verge of being saved from abomination

Much more often than it should, religion mingles with sexuality in odd manners. I'm not challenging the good will of believers who back in my life tried to heal my abominational sexual drive — though not directed towards them. The first time I recall someone trying to put all his skills into remaking me heterosexual it must have been in the early 90s when I was working part time as editor for some sort of Islamic monthly magazine. The imam proposed explicitly "a very successful therapy based in electroshocks" which I didn't hesitate to kindly refuse. Some years later, for reasons not pertaining to this story, I was more or less introduced into the Nigerian community in Madrid when one of them, a Pentecostalist pastor, thought that it was time to save a soul for Jesus.

By that time, my attitude towards mild fundamentalistic faiths had slightly changed, proven that dialogue wouldn't work to let me alone, I had aleady assumed that the best apporach was to dress myself into a militant atheist custom, but that wouldn't work with Nigerian pentecostalists either. I was to be saved, whether I wanted it or not. After five days of being shadowed by the pastor in question every time I was to be working at any of the many Nigerian owned internet cafes in the southern area of Madrid, I confessed my discomfort to a close friend. This good brother dropped my sexual behavior to the pastor, who became horrified. His efforts had to be doubled at least, if Jesus was to gain a sinner for his reign.

I managed to stay away from system maintenance for some days but I couldn't avoid it forever, and some given Saturday evening there happened to be a failure in a computer. I was called, and of course the pastor was there, couldn't have happened otherwise. Tony was there too, and the drama was perceptibly approaching. I started to fix the computer while the pastor started his invokations to the Holy Ghost to descend upon me and heal all my sins. I was guaranteed to marry a nice girl and have half dozen kids after that evening. Yuck!

When I finished with the system maintenance, the religious job was still not done. Probably I drew a bit of negative influence upon me by having a couple of beers and joking with other people around while the guy entered his final round of jaculatories, but I had no idea yet about how to get rid of such elements. Eventually, with a final delivery of powerful faithful energy, I was done the complete process of rebirth in Christ and transform into a happy heterosexual man. The pastor approached, proud of God's work.

And then I kissed him, mouth to mouth. Probably he didn't enjoy, I didn't put much passion on that. My friend Tony dropped to the floor in laughs, and he wasn't the only one. I never was tried to be saved again, up to this day.

Technorati tags: Abominations and Deadly Sins, Humor, Life, Religion